Post by beloved on Jan 21, 2008 20:39:37 GMT -5
Using Bournes definition of co-dependency, we can clearly see that Jesus was a co-dependent.
According to Bourne,
"Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own.
Jesus put the whole world's needs before his own. He came to earth to pay the penalty for all mankind's sin. He humbled himself by taking on flesh and becoming a man. He came to earth in his words to:
Set at liberty those who are oppressed. Heal the sick. Preach truth. To seek and save those that are lost. To do the will of his Father, not his own (for the salvation of mankind). He completely put mankind's needs before his own. He had mercy and compassion upon us all, and therefore he acted in our behalf. He put all he was (God), all he had (blessings, riches, honor, comfort), all he deserved (praise, glory, honor, worship) aside to become the God/man. He lowered himself to our position, in order to be our representative man.
You accommodate to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.
Jesus accomodated us to such a degree that he put aside his physical and emotional well being to be rejected, accused unjustly, tourtured, and put to death. He clearly wished there would have been another way to accomplish reconciliation between God and mankind, by his prayers in the garden before his death. He wasn't looking forward to what he was going to have to go through, but if there was no other way to redeem mankind, he was willing to do it. He put aside all his want, desires, comfort, needs, and feelings; even gave up his life for the redemption of a fallen earth.
Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others).
God the Father pronounced at Jesus' baptism, "Here is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." If the Father felt the need to praise His Son, and the Son needed to hear it, then there is obviously nothing wrong in feeling good about yourself for pleasing those you love. What else does self esteem come from? Fleeting things, such as looks and talents? Or is our worth found in how we treat others? Our worth is certainly not found in NOT caring for others. That shows a lack of worth. Jesus came to care for, set free, redeem, and solve our problems. He is to be our example. Doing good things for others does make us feel good, unless we feel our arm is being twisted, or we have a bad attitude about it.
These things are love. There is nothing wrong with love. Do some people take it out of balance and forget that they are suppose to love themselves too? Absolutely, but that doesn't make them diseased. It doesn't mean they have a "personality disorder" called "co-dependence". I completely object to the whole notion. If you were to try to NOT be anything that is described as "co-dependent" you would be a selfish, unloving, uncaring person; cold, indifferent, uncompassionate, unkind.
Everything people are told not to do or be, so as to avoid co-dependency, goes against what the Bible teaches is love, good, righteous, holy, unselfish.
This is what happens when a group of people esteem everyone else above themselves:
How co-dependent of them to put each other first! But when I put everyone else first, and they put me first, no one is in need. If I put myself first, and everyone puts themselves first, all are in need.
So, here we see already that God is teaching believers to be "co-dependent":
1. We are not to be independent, but become more one with each other.
2. We are to serve others. It is a gift to do so.
3. We are to help others through teaching and helping the poor.
4. We are to support each others burdens through encouragement.
5. We are to show mercy on those that don't deserve it. Talk about putting others first!
Oh boy, there we go again... co-dependent, co-dependent, co-dependent. That's what the "experts" say, so it must be true, right? And if the experts say it, we little people must agree. There will be no thinking for yourself, class. Give your minds, thoughts, and beliefs over to us. Let us re-MAKE you into what WE think is a healthy image. You don't get to decide what's healthy for you, we do. And how do we know it's healthy? Because we think it is. Our thoughts are obviously superior to your thoughts. Requiring people to adhere to your beliefs and not ananlize, problem solve, think for themselvs is cultish.
Instead of being taught to put our needs first, Romans Ch. 12, tells us to be devoted to one another. Instead of making ourselves of more importance than others, we are told to put others needs, well being, help, and support above out own. Instead of serving ourselves we are told to serve the Lord. And what kind of service does God want from us? Our service of others; meeting their emotional, physical, spiritual needs. So I guess God is a co-dependent. And if God is, than it isn't a disorder, it is love; because God is love.
I am not advocating, and neither does God, that we sacrifice our own well being by tolerating abusive people in our lives. If continuing to love someone you are in a relationship with means to destroy yourself, then it becomes unloving to you, and you are out of balance. If in order to try to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, you must allow yourself to be destroyed, that would be foolish. But, we should be eager to help those who need it, who are receptive to it, who want it. There is no destruction in that to ourselves or them. AND only WE can decide for ourselves what is loving others too much, and ourselves not enough. We cannot allow others to dictate that for us; such as accepting the label of co-dependent, just because we love.
According to Bourne,
"Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own. You accommodate to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs. Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others)."
"Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own.
Jesus put the whole world's needs before his own. He came to earth to pay the penalty for all mankind's sin. He humbled himself by taking on flesh and becoming a man. He came to earth in his words to:
Set at liberty those who are oppressed. Heal the sick. Preach truth. To seek and save those that are lost. To do the will of his Father, not his own (for the salvation of mankind). He completely put mankind's needs before his own. He had mercy and compassion upon us all, and therefore he acted in our behalf. He put all he was (God), all he had (blessings, riches, honor, comfort), all he deserved (praise, glory, honor, worship) aside to become the God/man. He lowered himself to our position, in order to be our representative man.
You accommodate to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.
Jesus accomodated us to such a degree that he put aside his physical and emotional well being to be rejected, accused unjustly, tourtured, and put to death. He clearly wished there would have been another way to accomplish reconciliation between God and mankind, by his prayers in the garden before his death. He wasn't looking forward to what he was going to have to go through, but if there was no other way to redeem mankind, he was willing to do it. He put aside all his want, desires, comfort, needs, and feelings; even gave up his life for the redemption of a fallen earth.
Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others).
God the Father pronounced at Jesus' baptism, "Here is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." If the Father felt the need to praise His Son, and the Son needed to hear it, then there is obviously nothing wrong in feeling good about yourself for pleasing those you love. What else does self esteem come from? Fleeting things, such as looks and talents? Or is our worth found in how we treat others? Our worth is certainly not found in NOT caring for others. That shows a lack of worth. Jesus came to care for, set free, redeem, and solve our problems. He is to be our example. Doing good things for others does make us feel good, unless we feel our arm is being twisted, or we have a bad attitude about it.
These things are love. There is nothing wrong with love. Do some people take it out of balance and forget that they are suppose to love themselves too? Absolutely, but that doesn't make them diseased. It doesn't mean they have a "personality disorder" called "co-dependence". I completely object to the whole notion. If you were to try to NOT be anything that is described as "co-dependent" you would be a selfish, unloving, uncaring person; cold, indifferent, uncompassionate, unkind.
Everything people are told not to do or be, so as to avoid co-dependency, goes against what the Bible teaches is love, good, righteous, holy, unselfish.
This is what happens when a group of people esteem everyone else above themselves:
Acts 4:32-35
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his posssessions wsa his own, bu they shared everything they had. Wth great power the aposteles continued to testify to the resurrection of the LOrd Jesus, and much grace was uon them all. There were no needy people amoung them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his posssessions wsa his own, bu they shared everything they had. Wth great power the aposteles continued to testify to the resurrection of the LOrd Jesus, and much grace was uon them all. There were no needy people amoung them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
How co-dependent of them to put each other first! But when I put everyone else first, and they put me first, no one is in need. If I put myself first, and everyone puts themselves first, all are in need.
Romans 12: 3, 4-6; 7-8
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We all have different gifts, according to the grace that is given to us.... if it is serving, let him serve; if is is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We all have different gifts, according to the grace that is given to us.... if it is serving, let him serve; if is is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
So, here we see already that God is teaching believers to be "co-dependent":
1. We are not to be independent, but become more one with each other.
2. We are to serve others. It is a gift to do so.
3. We are to help others through teaching and helping the poor.
4. We are to support each others burdens through encouragement.
5. We are to show mercy on those that don't deserve it. Talk about putting others first!
Romans 12: 9-11; 13-17
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves . Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual ferver; serving the Lord.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not repay evil for evil.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves . Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual ferver; serving the Lord.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not repay evil for evil.
Oh boy, there we go again... co-dependent, co-dependent, co-dependent. That's what the "experts" say, so it must be true, right? And if the experts say it, we little people must agree. There will be no thinking for yourself, class. Give your minds, thoughts, and beliefs over to us. Let us re-MAKE you into what WE think is a healthy image. You don't get to decide what's healthy for you, we do. And how do we know it's healthy? Because we think it is. Our thoughts are obviously superior to your thoughts. Requiring people to adhere to your beliefs and not ananlize, problem solve, think for themselvs is cultish.
Instead of being taught to put our needs first, Romans Ch. 12, tells us to be devoted to one another. Instead of making ourselves of more importance than others, we are told to put others needs, well being, help, and support above out own. Instead of serving ourselves we are told to serve the Lord. And what kind of service does God want from us? Our service of others; meeting their emotional, physical, spiritual needs. So I guess God is a co-dependent. And if God is, than it isn't a disorder, it is love; because God is love.
I am not advocating, and neither does God, that we sacrifice our own well being by tolerating abusive people in our lives. If continuing to love someone you are in a relationship with means to destroy yourself, then it becomes unloving to you, and you are out of balance. If in order to try to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, you must allow yourself to be destroyed, that would be foolish. But, we should be eager to help those who need it, who are receptive to it, who want it. There is no destruction in that to ourselves or them. AND only WE can decide for ourselves what is loving others too much, and ourselves not enough. We cannot allow others to dictate that for us; such as accepting the label of co-dependent, just because we love.