Hi, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you!!
I did actually put something on the board yesterday!
A lot of woman I know seem to feel that marriage is like a life-long sentence with no reprieve!!!
Most women want to get married, and have a family life, but I think a lot of men then they they OWN you!!!
I was in a bad mood about it all yesterday, but today I feel better. We did have a talk and I actually shared the post that beloved put up - about romance. In reply, my husband said if men are romantic "they get kicked in the teeth!" - I know he had an experience with a young women who strung him along, then ditched him- but, hey- doesn't everyone have a bad experience and get dumped at some time in life?
I said that men change when they marry a woman- and the woman becomes "a function" rather than a person to be respected- and that men have moody childish tantrums, or use emotional blackmail- pretending to go to bed ill, or storm off in a huff, if she doesn't serve him as his mother used to, or whatever.
Woman didn't expect much of marriage in those days. I think a lot actually expected to be unhappy. They just got on with the chores, waited on the men - but the compensation was being kept at home, and they got emotional needs met by the children. There was no real friendship between man and women- the men did "man things"- going out drinking after work..etc.. and the women did the household chores and gossiped with other women.
At least my husband listened. He does not go out drinking. But I wish he did have a few men friends. I don't want to be talked at- about cars, any more than he would like it if I discussed women's things with him. I can't meet all his needs. He hasn't got Jesus in his life- and hasn't got a friend apart from one who lives 300 miles away!!
I think often women will put up with a lot of cr*p (sorry!
) off a man when the children are at home, to keep the peace and keep everything on an even keel. When both a husband and wife are at work it keeps them out of each other's hair and takes the pressure off.
I am only working part-time now, the children have "flown the nest" and I'm not good at being in a claustrophic "couple" situation when my feelings were never right anyway.
But - I read that about Romance- and though we may never get to have candlelit dinners or walk hand-in-hand by the shore- (and I might think "What's he after? Does he want a new car?" anyway!) At least I think we can work at mutual respect.
I am still very doubtful about beloved claim that you can "fall in love" when you were never in love, or even strongly attracted, to begin with. There has to be some spark.
I think the best we can hope for is a comfortable "friendship" marriage, with respect and harmony- and insist on him letting up on the need to control. It will do.
I don't think he will ever get it that women like a man to look his best for them, as much as a man wants a woman to work at getting slim ..etc... He comes from the age (as he admits) when "men were in shorter supply"- and were valued far above women. So they might dress smartly and smell nice to go on dates, then, after marriage, let themselves go to pot and have less than nice personal habits, and think that's just "manly" - and a wife will still want to sleep with them.
I honestly think it's a generation thing- the young women I work with don't have husbands who behave that way.
I don't want another man, but, to be honest, sometimes, now there are no children at home, I would quite like to be on my own with nobody to control me. But I am a Christian, and I made a promise when I married. He might be ill again, and who would look after him? He's not violent - just an "old fashioned " husband in the 1950s tradition!!
I really appreciated your open post about you and your husband. You can at least come back and tell me to stick it, or tell us you are alright, or tell us you have fallen madly in love with your husband, or you caught the flu, or something. 
I really appreciated your open post about you and your husband. You can at least come back and tell me to stick it, or tell us you are alright, or tell us you have fallen madly in love with your husband, or you caught the flu, or something. 
lol
................................ pout
) off a man when the children are at home, to keep the peace and keep everything on an even keel. When both a husband and wife are at work it keeps them out of each other's hair and takes the pressure off.
